Unreachable AoixUruha 1-3

Can you see the sorrow in my eyes?
Have you any idea of how lonely I am?
Do you know how hopelessly I am lost?
Can you feel my burning desire in every touch?
No.
You can't see the sorrow in my eyes.
You have no idea of how lonely I am.
You don't know how hopelessly I am lost.
You can't feel my forbidden desire.

You are blind for my feelings towards you.
But that doesn't mean that my feelings will ever fade.
I love you Uruha. I will love you forever…

~

He would never return his feelings.
Every morning he woke up with that acknowledge. He woke up knowing that all his dreams from the night would never come true. It made him wish he wouldn't wake up anymore.
But he had to go on. He had to keep moving, to smile, and to pretend that he was alright.
Because he needed it. He needed him as friend.
Friend. That was what he'd always be. Nothing more than a friend.
But if that was how he wanted it,  then so be it. He would do everything to make him happy. He would do everything for his Uruha, who wasn't really his. No matter how much he'd have to suffer for it. Because Uruha was his everything.

"Aoi? AOI?!" the addressed person snapped out of his thoughts and smiled at the pouting face in front of him. "What is it Uru?"
"I've been trying to get your attention for minutes now, but you were so deep in thoughts that you didn't hear me" Uruha smiled back at him. Then he tilted his head a bit to the side in a way Aoi found adorable, and asked: "Aoi, what were you thinking about?'
Aoi's smile faded. "Everything and nothing." You.
Uruha sighed, as his smile faded as well. "You always give me those answers when I ask what you're thinking about…" he answered while he sat down next to Aoi and laid his head against the older man's shoulder. "I wish I could read your mind Aoi." He continued. "I want to know what you are really thinking about. I want to know your deepest thoughts… I want you to stop hiding from me. We've know each other for years now, but I still don't know the real you… Because you are hiding something from me…"
"Uruha… Aoi muttered. He laid his head on Uruha's head as they continued to sit there in silence.


You're right. I am hiding a part from myself from you. But I can't tell you about my feelings. If only you knew that you're on my mind all the time… That all my thoughts are about you. Forbidden thoughts I shouldn't have. Not about you, about my friend, my band mate.
If you knew I dream about you every night. How I dream about you.
Sinful images of you beneath me, panting, sweating, crying out my name in pleasure.
You would run away from me, wouldn't you? You would leave me.
But I can't help it…
Every time you'd come to me, to find understanding, and support, after you broke up with a faceless person, who I never found good enough for you. I held you, let you cry on my shoulder. You thought I was there for you as a good friend. If you only knew my true intentions. What I really feel the nights I hold you in my embrace.

Do you remember the first time we met? You were smiling. The sun was shining, the sunrays touched your blond hair, giving it a golden glow. At that moment everything around me faded away. All I saw was you. Only you mattered. You looked so beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I think I fell for you the very first moment I saw you. I took me a while before I realised what I felt for you. That my feeling for you are so much more than a simple affection. And those feelings grow stronger everyday. And my love for you is still growing. It's almost unbearable for me to hide it any longer. Every time you're this near to me, I want to kiss you, touch you, feel you in all ways possible.
Ever since the day we met I want your beautiful full lips on me. I want to look you in the eyes, and see that you feel the same for me.
I want to pull you closer, to hold you, in a way a friend would never touch or hold you.
You are the brightest sky in my sky Uruha. But I guess stars, or the moon are too cold for you.
You are warm, like the sun. And just as unreachable. You bring warmth and light to my existence. You are my sun.
And I'm afraid that if I'd come to close to you, so that I could touch you, I will burn myself.
You are like a dream. It is there, but you can never really grasp it.
You are my dream Uruha…
You are my cruel, sweet, unreachable dream…